Dear Markus;
You know me well. We were cadets in the Roman Army, beginning our charge side by side. We are brothers in arms, yet we are more than brothers. Our blood has ran together in many a heated battle. My allegiance is pure, yet there has always been doubts.
Of course, we would never question our orders. Even when I would wake up in the early hours of dawn, covered in sweat and my heart pounding fiercely in my chest as if it were the heart of a beast. I would be so startled, my scream choking me lest I put sound to the very horror of my dreams.
There are some who can
live with their orders and not feel the misery we inflict. They sleep well through
the night. Their peace is not mine and I would wager not your own. The soil
of their hearts is as hard as the soil they walk upon.
Were you there for the procession last week, Markus? Did you see when this Jesus
came into view struggling to carry His cross? This Jesus was different in His
sheer determination. There were no guards coaxing Him. He was determined to
get to the crucifixion and nothing would stop Him.
I was caught by the sight of this Man struggling with the weight of the cross - the rough, jagged wood digging splinters into the flesh of His savaged back! Did you see the strips where the scourging had ripped the flesh from His back? Yet there was still a peaceful look on His face. Through all this struggling, He actually looked peaceful.
Then I looked into His eyes- I felt as if I stared into His eyes for hours. In the eternity of that moment, I saw every life I had taken as a Roman Soldier. I saw three lives I had taken in a moment of anger-murder for anyone else but not for a Roman Soldier. I saw my looting after our campaigns. I saw the passions of the flesh I have tasted. A lifetime of hidden deeds lifted in that moment as I looked into His eyes.
He looked away when He stumbled under the weight of the cross. I tell you Markus, I felt the weight of all those past crimes lifted from my heart and I have to wonder if they were put upon Him? Why else would He stumble at that very moment? Could it be that he carried more than just a cross?
He stumbled and I pushed
a man forward to carry the cross. Jesus stepped in front and I walked behind-my
first steps in following Him.
They laid Him upon the cross. Were you there by that time, Markus? The guards
were sparring over who would drive the spikes when I looked into his eyes again.
He regarded me with compassion and a feeling of love. With sudden realization,
I knew my only chance for an unconditional love was going to die. His eyes winced
shut by the pain of the first spike and my trance with him was broken, taken
from me as if it were my last breath.
The guards sank the posts into the ground with a thud. I looked up to Him, wanting to avoid His eyes but at the same time wanting to see into them one more time before they would shut forever.
He looked up to the clouds and asked for forgiveness for us. One guard started to grumble and was struck down for his words-I can still feel the blow on the back of my hand.
Then He screamed out, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" There was such agony in His voice. His was a cry I heard not so much with my ears as I heard with my heart.
Tetelestai.
That was His final word.
This is the word I have heard in my heart over and over. This is the word that
awakens me in my sleep instead of the horrors of my youth. This single word,
Markus, has changed my life. What does it mean?
IT IS FINISHED!
These words described the scene, for He died after speaking them. But Tetelestai means so much more. It is finished means that it is done. Nothing else needs to be added to what He has done.
The soldiers broke the legs of the other prisoners and then I saw you, Markus. You stopped them from touching Him. Did you know what would run from Him after you pierced His side? Some have said it to be the tears of His heart.
Even from the distance I heard your words. "Surely this man was the Son of God!" So I know you know what I am talking about. Did you look into His eyes?
I went with some of His followers that asked for the body under the premise of protecting them from the crowds. They placed His body in a fresh tomb carved in the hillside.
I actually helped them, you know. This Jesus-there was something about Him and I wanted to know more. I waited until later on Sunday and walked the road to the tomb, hoping to find His followers there.
Then I saw Him. I rubbed my eyes and still He was walking toward me. I slapped my cheeks and this time He laughed at me. He reached out and grabbed my hands, holding them and smiling at me. I saw the jagged scars from the spikes, yet these scars looked as if they were years old. I looked up in wonder and He said, "I AM HE."
I bowed down before Him.
Yes, a Roman Soldier bowing before someone other than Caesar, let alone a Jew
that died three days earlier!
And then He said, "Tetelestai. What is finished is that I have paid the
debt for your sins. There is nothing more you need to do. Go, and sin no more,
for you are now a new creation."
I will never forget those words.
Realize, my friend, that Jesus could have done no more to reconcile us to God, nor can we. Remember His words He spoke to me on that road. Go and sin no more!
Your Brother in Arms.
Glenn Sasscer, Jr, Northwood, Ohio